While for most people Goa is the place they’ve got their best memories, few souls are often drawn by the dark forces and end up doing embarrassing stuff that scar their memories forever…
Yes, those jokes that you’ve heard and LOL’ed at are often inspired by these people! (A moment of silence for these heroes)
So, if you don’t want to turn into a muse for endless jokes, maybe you’d consider NOT doing these things while in Goa.
Here are the 10 Commandments we found written on a rock by a peeved Goan:
1. Thou Shalt not do the lungi dance at the beach
Sari, lungi, fancy tops etc. are not what you’d want to wear at the beach. If you don’t leave them at the hotel the waves will make sure to take them off you!
Also, please understand the difference between underwear and beachwear/swimwear. There’s a reason they’re sold at different places or even named differently!
2. Thou shalt not wear heels on the beach
Leaving those heels behind at the hotel would be the best idea when you’re at the beach. Trust me!
3. Thou shalt not drool over our bikini- clad sisters
Na munna na… No ogling at foreigners, or even your desi sisters, it’s just beachwear. Oh and by the way those dark shades don’t hide your drooling expressions. So, don’t embarrass yourself!
4. Thou shalt not drink and drive
Do you realize how many accidents take place due to drinking and driving? Yea, so no drinking and driving!
Goa sure has cheap booze and of course cheap booze = more booze. But more booze should not be equal to no “hosh”.. As our desi traffic slogan goes, “Drink responsibly”!
5. Thou shalt not get wasted and sleep on the beach
Unless you want to wake up with snappers and crabs hanging on your… you-know-what and everywhere else, DO NOT SLEEP ON THE BEACH! No matter how romantic it feels at night, mornings would be pretty terrible.
6. Thou shalt not take PDA to the next level (get a room please)
Yes, Goa is pretty cool but no one wants to see you eat each other’s face in public. Be a little considerate towards the recently heartbroken ones, at least.
7. Thou shalt explore more
Goa doesn’t start at Calangute & end at Baga – there are tons of other beaches to explore. Also, quit ranting about Tito’s and Mambos. Go and explore more!
8. Thou shalt not cringe drinking Fenny
NEWS FLASH: Nope, Fenny is not as sweet as honey! It is in fact quite pungent and there are high chances that you may not like it. Yet it’s a very popular local liquor that many enjoy. So, know it before you take a sip!
9. Thou shalt not expect 5 star treatment at a shack!
Give those poor guys a break- they’re already way too high from the previous night to know any difference between hot and cold water. Want A-class treatment, please find yourself a swanky hotel!
10. Thou shalt not buy Hawaiian shirts in Goa
That’s just tacky, man! This is kind of my pet peeve but those flowery shirts belong in Hawaii not Goa, so please stop flaunting them. We no do the Hula here!
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Further Read: Goa vs Gokarna: What’s your pick for the Long Weekend?